The Onion and 7-Eleven Enter Into Historic Brazen Corporate Merger for 2012 Election Season

 
 

The Onion and 7-Eleven Enter Into Historic Brazen Corporate Merger for 2012 Election Season

Yes, it's election year so the election campaign idea is strutted out yet again. This however is done with a straight face all the way down to the press release. Points for that.

"The Onion, America's Finest News Source™, is pleased to announce a shameless new cross-branding promotional partnership with America's Most Politically Influential Convenience Store™, 7-Eleven, as part of the former's 2012 "War for the White House" coverage.

For over 250 years, The Onion has stood as a beacon of truth and sanity for the easily manipulated American public, protecting U.S. citizens from the lies and deceit that other so-called "news outlets" attempt to pass off as in-depth, unbiased analysis. Now, as the country yet again feebly attempts to select a leader, The Onion is combining forces with 7-Eleven, whose red-and-blue-cup political muscle has swayed every state and federal election in American history

The Onion's National Advertising Director, Matt McDonagh, says of the audacious corporate merger, "For centuries, 7-Eleven has been regarded as the most powerful and influential convenience store in domestic governmental policy. The Onion could think of no better partner with which to create an authoritarian juggernaut sure to shake the very foundation of American politics."

In accordance with this decree, The Onion has produced a custom video vignette which can be viewed here.

Meanwhile, 7-Eleven will feature exclusive "War for the White House" video coverage on its 7-Election 2012 site throughout the remainder of the election season."

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