Advertising Light bulb jokes

Image by Laszlo under a Creative Commons 2.0 license

Q. How many copywriters does it take to change a light bulb?
A. "NOBODY changes ANYTHING!!"

Q. How many art directors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. "Does it have to be a light bulb?"

Q. How many account executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A. How many would you like?

Q. How many media people does it take to change a light bulb?
A. I first need to figure how many people the light will reach, and then I can back out a number.

Q. How many creative directors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Let me go to LA and find out.

Q. How many producers does it take to change a light bulb? A. I don't know. What do you think?

Q. How many print production managers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Forget it. We don't have the budget for a new one.

Q. How many traffic people does it take to change a light bulb?
A. All I know is that it should have been changed last week, and it's not my fault.

Q. How many ad accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A. First give me your timesheet and then I'll tell you.

Q. How many Mac Artists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Did you book time for this work?

Q. How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to change it and one to check the change.

Comments (16)

  • Dabitch's picture
    Dabitch

    Q: How many typesetters does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One, but be sure to specify how tight you want it.

    Q: How many CopyWriters does it take to change a lighbulb?
    A: Do we have to use a lighbulb? It's so tired. How about illuminator?

    Q: How many AE's does it take to change a lighbulb?
    A: Could we do it without the bulb?

    Sep 23, 2004
  • kamari's picture
    kamari

    Q: How many junior designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

    Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb
    A: Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

    Q: How many Hot Shit Creative Directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: We don't know. Light bulbs last longer than Hot Shit Creative Directors.

    (variation)
    Q: How many Copy Writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: The bulbs IN and it's staying IN!

    On the commercial set:

    Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: That's electric's job

    Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

    Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Just one more, guys, I promise.

    Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Just one, if he's got a good crew to do it.

    Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: If we change the light bulb, we'll have to change everything.

    Q: How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

    Q: How many Camera Assistants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Five: One to do it and four to tell you how they did it on the last job.

    Q: How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

    Q: How many UPM's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!"

    Q: How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: One, but it's an 8 hour minimum.

    Sep 23, 2004
  • Dabitch's picture
    Dabitch

    Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: We don't know. They never get past the feasibility study.

    Q: How many movie directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone thinks that his last lightbulb was much better.

    Sep 08, 2008
  • Dabitch's picture
    Dabitch

    Q: How many clients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: Three. One to screw it in. Two to hold down the agency creative.

    Q: How many marketing directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: It isn't too late to make this neon instead, is it?

    Q: How many focus group researchers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: With what degree of certainty do you need to know?

    Jan 12, 2009
  • Dabitch's picture
    Dabitch

    Q: How many Internet Marketers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None, he outsources it.

    Q: How many Social Media consultants does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. You don't change the light bulb, you build relationships

    Jan 12, 2009
  • Dabitch's picture
    Dabitch

    Q: How many copywriters does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to screw it in and one to give it a surprising twist at the end.

    Q: How many animators does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: "That depends on the size of your budget."

    Q: How many people at head office does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None, they prefer to keep the rest of us in the dark.

    Q: How many ECDs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: One,he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him/her

    Q: How many cameramen does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: "None. Whaddya think gain is for?"

    Q: How many sound recordists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A : Two. One to wait for ten minutes until that airplane has gone away.

    Q: How many freelance creatives does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Ten. One to change it and nine to say "why didn't I get that job?"

    Jan 12, 2009
  • Dabitch's picture
    Dabitch

    Q: How many web 2.0 designers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One, but he'll bevel, gradient, shine and add a wet floor look as well.

    Q: How many hotshit creatives does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Six. One to change it and five to say "I could have done it better."

    Q: How many riggers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Thirteen. One to hold the light bulb and twelve to turn the ladder.

    Q: How many clients does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: "Can't we make do with the one we've got?

    Q: How many producers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: "LIGHT BULB? WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO THE LIGHT BULB?

    Q: How many production managers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Five, but you can only have three.

    Q: How many PAs does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Six. One gets up on ladder and five say "Well, we all know how she got up there."

    Q: How many on-line editors does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: "I'm sorry - you can't make changes in on-line."

    Q: How many directors does it take to change a light bulb? A: "I asked for that light bulb to be changed half an hour ago!"

    Jan 12, 2009
  • TDD's picture
    TDD

    If I die from laughter, you're going to find your names in my Last Will and Testament!

    Jan 14, 2009
  • fairuse's picture
    fairuse

    Q. How many Sound Editors does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. None, they work in the dark.

    Sep 19, 2010
  • Dabitch's picture
    Dabitch

    Q: How many planners does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Five one to change the light bulb, the other four to stand around arguing whether he/she is taking the right approach.

    Mar 10, 2011
  • Dabitch's picture
    Dabitch

    Q: How many designers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to change it, and one to turn the old one into an attractive Christmas tree decoration!

    Mar 10, 2011
  • Dabitch's picture
    Dabitch

    Totally adding this that @CrocusCreative tweeted back at @adland:

    Re: Clients to screw in bulb. A committee of 8 taking weeks before finally deciding they like to stick with the old, burned out one.

    Mar 10, 2011
  • Bartisan's picture
    Bartisan (not verified)

    Q: How many brand managers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: "yeah, I hear you on the burned out thing, but the bulb's been a part or the brand since I've been here and we're not really comfortable changing it"

    Mar 30, 2012
  • lxh3d's picture
    lxh3d (not verified)

    Q; How many AE's does it take to change a light bulb?

    A; "let me get back to you on that"

    Jun 27, 2012
  • funny jokes's picture
    funny jokes (not verified)

    Woaahhh !! what a beautifully captured :D

    Mar 07, 2013
  • Dabitch's picture
    Dabitch

    @awlilnatty and oliverpayne just had a lightbulb-joke tweet-match and I simply have to add them.

    Q: How many traffic managers does it take to changed a lightbulb?"
    A: What, they haven't done it yet? Surprise, surprise.

    Q: How many freelancers does it take to change a ligh...
    A: Oh, it's done already. And with three other options of bulb

    Q: How many Global Chief Creative Officers does it take to change a lightbulb
    A: One, but it'll be October 2015 at the earliest

    Q: How many traffic managers does it take to changed a lightbulb?
    A: One, but no one's free until tomorrow

    Q: How many producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: that wasn't in the original scope

    Q. How many Designers does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A. Fuck off, i'm not changing a thing.

    Q. How many Strategists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A. Let me visualise the structure and get back to you.

    Q. How many Creative Directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A. Out To Lunch.

    Q. How many account-men does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A. How many would the client like it to take?

    Q. How many creatives does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A. Change? WHAT CHANGES?

    Sep 26, 2014

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Dabitch Creative Director, CEO, hell-raising sweetheart and editor of Adland. Globetrotting Swede who has lived and worked in New York, London, San Francisco, Amsterdam, Copenhagen and Stockholm.