The coastguard is an idiot. Also, this is a really old "Swedish joke"* joke before it turned into a commercial script.
* I'm assuming it's a Swedish joke, as in Sweden we tell this joke about Norwegians who are in our joke-stereotype world, insanely dumb. In Norway the opposite is true so they tell pretty much the same joke, but about Swedes. A classic is: "There was a power failure in Oslo, and two hundred Norwegians were stuck in the escalators for hours". In Norway they tell this joke but the city is changed to Stockholm.
Can you tell we love each other?