Kid 1: "You batting average is totally awesome. What's your secret."
Kid 2: "Oh, it's these M&M's. Wink! Yeah see, I take the brown ones and the green ones and the yellow ones and they all do something different."
Kid 1: "What if you want to pitch a no-hitter?"
Kid 2: "I take some LSD, just like Dock Ellis.
Coach: "You're up!"
Kid 1: "Quick, gimme a green one!"
I love the Howard Cosell imitation by the kid at the end.