I tried, man. i really did. I was following the vibe. I was liking the images of so-called 'real people,' because they're always more interesting than central casting types. I was willing to put up with the VO which make me have bad flashbacks to Trainspotting. It's early, I haven't had my coffee, and still the high-energy feel was okay.

I was tracking all they way up to when they asked "Why can't you right a skateboard when you're forty freaking five."

I'll tell you why, you bastard: because you look like a hipster douche who is trying desperately to hold on to your youth. Riding a skateboard is barely passable at twenty-five. Seriously I spend half my time in L.A. trying to avoid hitting grown up man-children on skateboards who disregard any and all driving and pedestrian rule known to man. This is behavior we do not want to encourage.

Anthem spots, people. When will they stop? Why hunt so hard for authentic people just to give me a rousing anthem spot? Especially once in which a brand has the arrogance to believe only it can give me "permission: to be myself. I want to take that brand, put my hands on its shoulders and tell them "I don't need your fucking permission to be myself. You aren't my enabler, my parents, or my friend. You're just a brand who is going along for the ride because at this very moment I chose to allow you to. And if you don't shut up, I'm putting you down and picking up an American craft beer that doesn't talk as much."

Client: Warsteiner Agency: Amsterdam Worldwide Brian Elliott, Founder and CEO Richard Gorodecky, Executive Creative Director Uli Kurtenbach, Strategic Director

about the author

kidsleepy CD copywriter with 18 years experience who has worked in many cities including New York, Atlanta, Montreal and currently Los Angeles. I snark because I care.

Comments (1)

  • blair robson's picture
    blair robson (not verified)

    I was in this ad, but they cut me out... lol.... The skateboarder scene was shot in New Zealand

    Jan 20, 2017