innuendo

 
 
 

Too Faced "Is Your Mascara Better Than Sex?" (2014) 1:32 (USA)

Too Faced "Is Your Mascara Better Than Sex?" (2014) 1:32 (USA)

Sorry, Too Faced cosmetics, Barry White-esque VO and style "expert" Jeannie Ma-- If your mascara is way better than sex, you're doing it wrong.

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Spies - Do It For Denmark! - (2014) 2:00 (DK)

Spies - Do It For Denmark! - (2014) 2:00 (DK)

Denmark's homegrown travel agency to the sun, Spies travel, has come out with this ad that announces a competition to the Danish population to get it on. It's called the ovulation-competition.

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Dannon Oikos Greek Yogurt - The Spill - (2014) :30 (USA)

Dannon Oikos Greek Yogurt - The Spill - (2014) :30 (USA)

There were some awkward moments during the super bowl 2014... This was one of them.

John Stamos is about to get something licked, when "Full House" costars Bob Saget and David Couilier yoghurt-block him like nothing else.

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Zmrzliny Prima: Mrož - Ice cream fantasy - (2013) :30 (Czech republic)

Zmrzliny Prima: Mrož - Ice cream fantasy - (2013) :30 (Czech republic)

Somewhere in the Czech Republic, bare chested models shower in milk, slide in strawberries and bathe in chocolate, all so that you can put it in your mouth and lick it baby. Lick and suck it. The popsicle, gawd get your head out of the gutter. Sheesh.

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Bertolli - Cooking with hot sexy Italian chef, Alfredo Caldo-Freddo - (2013) 3:20 (Australia)

Bertolli - Cooking with hot sexy Italian chef, Alfredo Caldo-Freddo - (2013) 3:20 (Australia)

Welcome to the most tired (sexist) troupe of advertising yet, it's the shirtless guy cooking in all his unhygenic glory.
This time it's Bertolli who introduces the "hot sexy Italian chef, Alfredo Caldo-Freddo". Alfredo teaches us the difference between Hot & Cold uses of olive oil, and which oil goes where - the light one is "to keep it moist on the inside" while strutting his stuff in nothing but an apron.

What happened to fat doofus dad, did we finally kill him off and replaced him with beefcake man in ads? Nope, doofus has a starring role as comedic relief as usual. Nothing new under the advertising sun.

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Sauza Tequila - Make It With A Lifeguard - (2013) :2:00 (USA)

Sauza Tequila - Make It With A Lifeguard - (2013) :2:00 (USA)

Remember make it with a fireman last year? The one with the French speaking kitten? Oui, that one. Here's the follow up, with beach setting and puppies and suggestive innuendo making it even more Brawny ca 2003, Old Spice 2010 and OH HEY The Zesty Guy right now! More on that in another post.

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Kraft Zesty Italian - The Zesty Guy Says Hey (with bedroom voice) - (2013) :30 (USA)

Kraft Zesty Italian - The Zesty Guy Says Hey (with bedroom voice) - (2013) :30 (USA)

Remember the old spice ads with Isaiah Mustafa, a campaign playing on suave and sexy so well that I wanted to marry it until they ruined it all with Fabio. This campaign, while clearly a tad inspired, isn't even good enough to be the rebound date. Zesty guy is eye candy. Because girls like salad. And pretty boys. Look, using pretty ladies as eye candy in ads is ungood, and using pretty men as simple eye candy isn't good either. Two wrongs don't make a right (but two Wrights can make an airplane).

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Sauza Tequila - Make it with a Fireman - (2013) 2:00 (USA)

Sauza Tequila - Make it with a Fireman - (2013) 2:00 (USA)

Make it with a fireman. Get it? Yes there's a sizzling sex bomb showing us how to make a good stiff drink here, after saving kittens, speaking french and understanding the pains of high heels. He's like Old Spice's cousin, and he brought booze.

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Skechers Shape-Ups - Bye Bye Trainer / Kim Kardashian (2011) :30 (USA)

Skechers Shape-Ups - Bye Bye Trainer / Kim Kardashian (2011) :30 (USA)

Fourth quarter airing.

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Mini - Cram It In The Boot (2011) :30 (USA)

Mini - Cram It In The Boot  (2011) :30 (USA)

Third quarter airing.
Please note the phallic use of carpet while he's "cramming it in the boot".

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