The man and his clapper. He claps around. He can clap like nobody else. And that's why he's a wanted man.

Hang on, I'll let wearetopsecret explain:

If you haven’t rolled down Franklin in beautiful Eugene, OR in a minute, it’s got a bit of a makeover, and we’re talking a facelift, tummy tuck, calf implants and a tit job. Their brand new $220+ million dollar basketball arena is seriously legit. Some may even say it’s 2 legit 2 quit. Thanks Uncle Phil. They wanted some help putting some asses in seats, so they came to us to do ‘em up with some videos to draw attention to their basketball squad. These are those fateful videos.

The superfan is at a loss for words.

See also the screamer and the clapper for the full story.

This woman berates her child so obnoxiously that one doesn't mind her getting kidnapped at the end.

See also Super fan and the clapper for the full story.

Billy the bear, the mascot, hates the smell of his mascot outfit, his lack of peripheral vision, and other downside to his job. He needs a day off. Avis, help him! Perhaps he can rent a getaway car.

A dry brief brings a hilariously cheesy solution - the Ipren man literally sings his own praises (and probably exactly what was in the brief):

"I am Ipren, the intelligent pain reliever, against pain and fever I'm efficient, painkilling, fever reducing - I'm simply intelligent - I have anti inflammation properties, I can handle muscle pain back pain and joint pain, one Ipren a 400 milligram works often better than two prescription-free tablets of paracetamol for example "Alvedon" for headaches, menstrual pain and toothaches..*inhale* I am Ipren the intelligent pain-killer."