Q. How many copywriters does it take to change a light bulb?
A. "NOBODY changes ANYTHING!!"
Q. How many art directors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. "Does it have to be a light bulb?"
Q. How many account executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A. How many would you like?
Q. How many media people does it take to change a light bulb?
A. I first need to figure how many people the light will reach, and then I can back out a number.
Q. How many creative directors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Let me go to LA and find out.
Q. How many producers does it take to change a light bulb? A. I don't know. What do you think?
Q. How many print production managers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Forget it. We don't have the budget for a new one.
Q. How many traffic people does it take to change a light bulb?
A. All I know is that it should have been changed last week, and it's not my fault.
Q. How many ad accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A. First give me your timesheet and then I'll tell you.
Q. How many Mac Artists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Did you book time for this work?
Q. How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to change it and one to check the change.
Q: How many typesetters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but be sure to specify how tight you want it.
Q: How many CopyWriters does it take to change a lighbulb?
A: Do we have to use a lighbulb? It's so tired. How about illuminator?
Q: How many AE's does it take to change a lighbulb?
A: Could we do it without the bulb?
Q: How many junior designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb
A: Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
Q: How many Hot Shit Creative Directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: We don't know. Light bulbs last longer than Hot Shit Creative Directors.
(variation)
Q: How many Copy Writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The bulbs IN and it's staying IN!
On the commercial set:
Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That's electric's job
Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one more, guys, I promise.
Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, if he's got a good crew to do it.
Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: If we change the light bulb, we'll have to change everything.
Q: How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
Q: How many Camera Assistants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five: One to do it and four to tell you how they did it on the last job.
Q: How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
Q: How many UPM's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!"
Q: How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it's an 8 hour minimum.
Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We don't know. They never get past the feasibility study.
Q: How many movie directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone thinks that his last lightbulb was much better.
Q: How many clients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in. Two to hold down the agency creative.
Q: How many marketing directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It isn't too late to make this neon instead, is it?
Q: How many focus group researchers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: With what degree of certainty do you need to know?
Q: How many Internet Marketers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None, he outsources it.
Q: How many Social Media consultants does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. You don't change the light bulb, you build relationships
Q: How many copywriters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and one to give it a surprising twist at the end.
Q: How many animators does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "That depends on the size of your budget."
Q: How many people at head office does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they prefer to keep the rest of us in the dark.
Q: How many ECDs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One,he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him/her
Q: How many cameramen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "None. Whaddya think gain is for?"
Q: How many sound recordists does it take to change a light bulb?
A : Two. One to wait for ten minutes until that airplane has gone away.
Q: How many freelance creatives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten. One to change it and nine to say "why didn't I get that job?"
Q: How many web 2.0 designers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but he'll bevel, gradient, shine and add a wet floor look as well.
Q: How many hotshit creatives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to change it and five to say "I could have done it better."
Q: How many riggers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Thirteen. One to hold the light bulb and twelve to turn the ladder.
Q: How many clients does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "Can't we make do with the one we've got?
Q: How many producers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "LIGHT BULB? WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO THE LIGHT BULB?
Q: How many production managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five, but you can only have three.
Q: How many PAs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One gets up on ladder and five say "Well, we all know how she got up there."
Q: How many on-line editors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "I'm sorry - you can't make changes in on-line."
Q: How many directors does it take to change a light bulb? A: "I asked for that light bulb to be changed half an hour ago!"
If I die from laughter, you're going to find your names in my Last Will and Testament!