Do you work in advertising - or are you a prostitute?

Does this sound familiar? Twentythree pointers to clue you in to if you are a prostitute or simply an advertising creative. The similartities are endless.... (oh, and do please add yours!)

  • 1. You work very odd hours.
  • 2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
  • 3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.
  • 4. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended for the right price.
  • 5. You are not proud of what you do.
  • 6. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
  • 7. It's difficult to have a family.
  • 8. You have no job satisfaction.
  • 9. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.
  • 10. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.
  • 11. People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.
  • 12. Your family hardly recognizes you at reunions (at least the reunions you attend.)
  • 13. Your friends have distanced themselves from you and you're left hanging with only other "professionals."
  • 14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.
  • 15. Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or BMWs.
  • 16. Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.
  • 17. You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it's not your problem.
  • 18. When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).
  • 19. You are rated on your "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.
  • 20. Even though you get paid the big bucks, it's the client who walks away smiling.
  • 21. The client always thinks your "cut" of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.
  • 22. When you deduct your "take" from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.
  • 23. Everyday you wake up and tell yourself, "I'm not going to be doing this stuff the rest of my life.

about the author

Dabitch Creative Director, CEO, hell-raising sweetheart and editor of Adland. Globetrotting Swede who has lived and worked in New York, London, San Francisco, Amsterdam, Copenhagen and Stockholm.

Comments (14)

  • kamari's picture

    This is the best joke in the joke-topic, hands down!

    Aug 18, 2003
  • anonymous's picture

    You cringe every time you have contact, but pretend that you like it and try to fly away to your "happy place" until it's over.

    Sep 11, 2003
  • anonymous's picture

    28. Half the time, you open your mouth but end up taking up the ass anyway.


    Sep 11, 2003
  • TruthInAdvertising's picture

    29. You can't take criticism without taking it extremely personally.

    I know, that isn't funny.

    Jan 15, 2008
  • Dabitch's picture

    Were you thinking of someone in particular? ;)

    Jan 16, 2008
  • TruthInAdvertising's picture

    I've seen so many young whiz kids do it. They might be talented but if they can't take criticism well, they're just asses.

    Jan 25, 2008
  • Dabitch's picture

    30. The client wants you to meet them at a hotel, rather than at their place.

    Jul 24, 2010

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