Over at HeyWhipple's 12secondTV you can find all the episodes of The Nose Janitor. Here, we can now offer you an exclusive interview with The Nose Janitor's Agent.

dabs: Well, by now Nose Janitor's recent rant on the set of his upcoming movie is well-known. He's become a bit of a punch line for the tabloids and one wonders if all this isn't going to hurt Nose Janitor's ratings on 12secondtv. Is it?

Nose Janitor's Agent: You know, this is just....it's crazy. Yes, Nose Janitor is sorry about picking on the assistant director the way he did. He was out of line. But Nose Janitor is a professional. You wouldn't want his job. Seriously. You wouldn't want to have to do the things he does, (I mean, come ON, look at what he does for a living!) ... but he does it without complaining. Could you do it? Seriously, could YOU?

dabs: Ummmm, probably not. Anyway, let's shift to that disturbing special effect we see in all the Nose Janitor movies. That thing on Nose Janitor's head? It's not....it's not...

Nose Janitor's Agent: "It'snot." (LAUGHS) That old joke. Remember? "You think it's a booger but it'snot." Aaaanyway, we specifically shot episode 7 to put to rest those rumors. As you can see in the film, it's VERY clear that our special effects department uses parts of an APPLE to make the main effect. Its very realism is probably what got us into trouble to begin with, but as I said, Nose Janitor is a professional and we're not going to change the way he makes movies just because a few viewers are squeamish. Film is life. Life is art. And let me tell you my little friend ... life, art, and film, they're not always PRETTY. Capeesh?

dabs: Um, okay. Next question: With all the .... well, shall we say "crap" on the web, some critics have charged that Nose Janitor is just feeding off of the public's tastelessness, that his work is...and I quote from a recent review in the Times..."juvenile....puerile...the lowest form of humor imaginable." Your reaction?

Nose Janitor's Agent: See, the thing is this... (PHONE BEGINS TO RING) ...sorry....the thing is this: if you want knowledge, go to the li-berry, okay? Nose Janitor answers to his public. That's who matters to Nose Janitor. Okay? Listen, I gotta take this call. M&M's candy is sponsoring Nose Janitor. Episode 11. Clock it, dude. I gotta bounce. Peace out.