Periodically, AdLand chooses to recognize a feminine hygiene product advertising effort that shows exemplary skill in cramming an incredible amount of demonstrative clichés into a tight amount of space - in this case, 30 seconds.

The latest winner of the AdLand Winged Cooter Award is Playtex, hands down. Click continue to absorb the majesty of their incredible undertaking...

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the mother lode.

The spot begins with a gal giving her well-prepared pseudo-testimonial in a sitting room. This initially worried me and my fellow judges, as all previous Winged Cooter Award recipients began their commercials with a walk on the beach, the frantic emptying of an unorganized purse, or the frantic emptying of an unorganized purse on the beach after an interrupted walk. However, the panel was soon relieved when we noticed that the gal was sitting on a white couch whilst dishing out her spiel - instant high marks across the board.

And then, we were inundated with a dazzling string of inset shots that showed her, or her and her friends...

Riding bikes...

Swinging on a one-rope swing...

Running about on the lawn...

Jumping over the camera...

Being chased by a man...

Whoops! He caught her! Wheeeeeeee!...

Playing with a puppy (we're not even going to guess what they're trying to say here)...

Climbing a tree...

Doing cartwheels...

Swinging in a hammock...

Riding a horse (of course, of course)
(bonus points for the white saddle blanket),

and the grand finale...

Wearing white pants with her legs sorta wrapped around her beau. Extra special bonus points were awarded for the frightened expression on the guy's face. Wonderful.

Unfortunately, there mustn't have been enough time left over in the half minute to show her jumping on a trampoline, performing a flawless triple lutz in a figure-skating competition, teaching a kickboxing class, winning a regional motocross on ESPN2, skydiving, getting shot out of a cannon, firing surface to air missiles at enemy planes, spacewalking or swimming with great white sharks.

Our guess is that they're saving those for the sequel.

Congratulations, Playtex. You've proven yourselves to be the one true tamp champ, and deserve the AdLand Winged Cooter Award - no strings attached.