Adland Investigates: Is there a bear penis flopping around in a Lowe's Home Improvement commercial?

It's not often that we get questions regarding ursine sexual organs here at Adland,* but one of our site's good pals was watching his large screen HDTV (show-off) when a Lowe's commercial came on featuring an ornery grizzly bear. The minute-long commercial was about 32 seconds in when he noticed "something dangling and wiggling 'down there'" on the bear.

Of course, Adland had to investigate, and what did we find? Was it indeed a wee bear penis?

Was it simply a matted clump of bear hair? Is Mrs Bear even grumpier than Mr Bear? Judge for yourself. Superadgrunts, see the full commercial here, and then, thanks to our patented AdLand Bear Penis Detector Zoom 3000, see a close-up of the scene in question here. *I know! I know! Hard to believe!

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Anonymous Adgrunt's picture
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alex's picture

I don't have a great deal of knowledge about bears' penises, you might be surprised to hear. But I'd guess that it would be more impressive than that. It's a fur clag.

Sputnik_Barconi's picture

"But I'd guess that it would be more impressive than that."

Maybe that's why the bear is so grumpy.

purplesimon's picture

Reminds me of a joke:

Q. Why's an elephant got four feet?
A. Because it would look silly with six inches.

Boom Boom.

Anyway, it's just the hair. It does make me wonder why someone was looking at a bear and seeing a cock, they're totally different animals. :)

Apparently, like dogs, bears have bones in their penis. That fact brings nothing to the debate, but you know, it's a fact you could share at a dinner party.

Wow, these headache tablets are strong :)

alex's picture

A lot of animals have penis bones (bacula). Here's a bear's bone (and you don't know the pain I went through searching Google images for bear penis bone): http://www.skullsunlimited.com/graphics/rb-139-lg.jpg

purplesimon's picture

That's one helluva boner.

Okay, I'll stop taking the pills.

Neaner's picture

Can I have them?

RLDavies's picture

Some more FYI on penis bones (non-ursine): Raccoon Penis Bone Amulet

Robblink's picture

Hey, hey Boo Boo...I'm bigger than the average bear!

thackur's picture

it is a tuft of fur. this is ridiculous. if his testicles were there, then he would be the only mammal in existence with genitals protruding from his bellybutton area.