Why are the most famous people in or from advertising today so damn vile?
Seriously, as the ad industry has degenerated from “Truth Well Told” to “Transparent Lies That Insult You,” we’ve seen the “face” of advertising likewise decay and contort from the reassuring, erudite intellectualism of a pipe smoking David Ogilvy to the abominable sneering visage of NBC’s repulsive block-o’-rotting-meat Donny Deutsch.
Deutsch is the best-known “media personality” from advertising, though I’m sure he would be the first to tell you he’s “transcended advertising,” since he gets to bloviate his smug rich liberal white dude pronouncements on MSNBC if you can actually bear to watch that shit. Plus, he once starred in the worst sitcom of all time, “Donny!” (Sample review: “Deutsch doesn't have chemistry with anybody, so it isn't surprising that the scenes that come closest to funny are the ones in which he's completely absent.”).
But, okay, let’s say Dummy…er, Donny, HAS transcended advertising, whatever that possibly means. How is it that THAT guy, of all the assholes in advertising, managed to grab the brass ring and the ass bling off the big media merry-go-round? Book deals, multiple TV shows, talking headster-isms, yet whenever I go out and talk to normal people about advertising—and not just now, but for years and years, since Donny! first had that terrible talk show—I’ve never, ever, not once heard a person say, “Boy, I really like that Donny Deutsch! He sure is smart/clever/funny/appealing/NOT A COLOSSAL FUCKING NARCISSISTIC BLOWHARD.”
No. Mostly they say, “Ugh. Can’t stand that guy. Such an asshole.”
But maybe that’s the feature, not the bug, when it comes to advertising’s public persona? The industry has such low standards and high narcissism today that the personification of transcendent ad biz success in the eye of the news media/pop culture is...Donny Deutsch?
Yes, I felt the communal consciousness of the ad industry shudder, right there. Probably some TV people from the production side too. And poor Christie Brinkley. Sorry to all. But it needs to be said. And NBC needs to be blamed. NBC needs to be blamed not just for making Donny Deutsch a household name in households that watch way too much TV, but FOR EVERYTHING.
Who else is the “face” of advertising? Besides Mr. Cannes Lyin’s & Medialink’s malevolent maestro of monopoly and megalomania Mike Kassan, who I’m sick of talking about, but let's once again note how businessmen and bean-counters have come to rule over this so-called “creative” industry, and how that’s the biggest of the many reasons advertising sucks now.
But who else has “transcended” the industry? Who, for example, is the Female Face of advertising to the media world? Does anyone have a better suggestion than foul-mouthed pornographer troll Cindy Gallop, one of the planet’s least feminine women outside of northeastern Mongolia’s steroid-ridden female midget wrestling circuit, yet somehow forever held up as the feminist you-go-grrrrl creative wunderkind of womeninity?
Gallop is such a guy’s guy that she compares herself favorably to the abominable showman Michael Bay, because she “likes to blow shit up.” Well, I do too, but never for a moment would I desire to call Michael Bay a peer and I hope you wouldn’t either or maybe we shouldn’t go to the movies together.
Beyond the bizarre Law of Inversion clown world fascination/repulsion of a Sisyphus-ian woman trying to normalize pornography, the never-married and childless Cindy Gallop has more than anything else always struck me as one of those so-called feminists who is pissed off she didn’t get born with a dick.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m all on board with the rising tide of the Divine Feminine. Josephine Jesus Jr., take the wheel, it’s all fine with me. I’m fully aware of the unstoppable natural spiritual esoteric progression of humanity as the Milky Way galaxy moves and transitions astronomically and astrologically from the masculine Age of Pieces into the feminine Age of Aquarius.
But…watch out for the societal manipulation types who refuse to recognize it’s the Divine FEMININE, not the Divine Woman.
The people who really run things are well aware of the transcendent changes to come, and have been doing their best to jury-rig this evolving age to their liking. That’s why culturally there’s been such an influx of kickass female heroes on TV and in the movies and in advertising, and cold-blooded cut-throat over-empowered female corporate leadership—the object is to make women more like men so the same ol’, same ol’ can keep same ol’-ing.
And haven’t we seen that? Thanks to advertising and entertainment, women have embraced all of men’s worst qualities: Foul-mouthed, promiscuous, obsessed with their genitalia, and so on. Biggest issue for at least the loudest feminists today seems to be completely unencumbered abortion rights. No matter how you slice it, it is a tragedy when the greatest gift and responsibility—the ability to actually bring life into the world, to be the type of “creative” that would put even David Ogilvy to shame—is inverted into a defiant, desperate and pardon-me-if-you-don’t-want-to-hear-it demonic battle to avoid and extinguish it.
The Divine Feminine is wise, nurturing, maternal, sacrificial, patient, sensual, righteous but not self-righteous, a warrior only at the last call but then ferocious. How many women leaders exhibit those qualities? How many of them are any different than the asshole men they’re replacing? How many of them—like Cindy Gallop IMHO—seem more interested in their personal brand than the “cause”? My career experience has made me dubious of any “cause” tied to advertising, and I suggest you be too.
As for creatives, I guess the most “famous” creative in advertising today is David Droga, who is presumably not vile and has done some good work no doubt, but I’ve never found a particularly interesting interview or wildly charismatic or anything like that. Smart, reasoned, clever, he’s the 2nd banana import Aussie in a 1960s Rock Hudson romcom set at an ad agency. But things are so bad and talent is so shallow nowadays that he gets to be the star, a Rock Star, tho as Bono’s found out, there are no more rock stars.
But all this too, is a sign of the dying light flickering spastically near the death rattle at the end of the Advertising Age. The best and brightest have left the building. There are no real “thought leaders." There are no charismatic voices to break into the mainstream. There is no unifying, collaborative leadership that can put a stake in the ground.
Instead, the stake is going right through the heart of badvertising, a vampire strain of capitalism that’s run amok too long. Finally brought to heel by the emerging beauty of a new Divine Feminine age that doesn’t need to kick your ass and blow shit up but instead hug you and nurture the children and keep them safe. Bring it, ladies.