It was hard waking up this morning. You ever have one of those mornings? You hit the snooze button again and again. And somewhere along the third hit of the snooze button you manage to have a mini dream? This was my dream.
I dreamt of a thousand smiling faces, all fresh from central casting. And though they are diverse, it is still safely WASPish. I dreamt of heads. The backs of heads. Lots of hair, lots of backs of heads. So many heads. I dreamt people were doing repetitive moves, as if they were robots, or drones. Walking. One of them looks like he might hit the propellor. Oh no! But then, it's okay. More heads. And ballet for some reason.
I dreamt of different scenarios that had absolutely nothing to do with me....farmers and superheroes and employees and basketball players with no identifiable jersey because you can't get a sponsorship apparently. And then I dreamt of a bunch of employees beckoning me with their heads awkwardly. Which is either some 2013 version of a welcome, or they were all indicating where onboard they kept the glory hole. It was hard to tell.
I kept sleeping, you see. Because it was boring. And the visuals were accompanied by a soulless manifesto that could have been written for any brand, and any product.
Oh hello. It's time to hear your manifesto. Are you ready? Sit back and relax. Listen to the words. Lots of words. Words that don't mean much. We like words. We like heads. The backs of heads are great.
Manifestoes rock, don't they? It allows us to talk without saying anything of substance.
Let's talk about employees patting themselves on the back. Because they're doing their job. It isn't exciting? It's not enough? The words and backs of heads aren't grabbing you? Well what if we include a soundtrack by Fun that reminds you of Paul Simon's Graceland? Yeah. We figured that would help. That's it. Get into the vibe. The manifesto vibe. Fly Southwest.
Note to TBWA\Chiat\Day: Manifestoes have jumped the shark so hard, when they landed a new continent was created. Please stop with the manifestoes already. Please give us a spot with an idea instead of a pitch rip. At least try.