How to write a newspaper ad

The only thing worse than reading a newspaper ad is writing one....until now.
The Newspaper Association of America recently asked (bribed?) top notch advertising gurus to create newspaper ads, selling, uh...newspaper ads.
Featured on their website are newspaper ads by Neil French, Luke Sullivan, Mike Hughes and Lee Clow.
https://www.naa.org/artpage.cfm?AID=3931&SID=34&CFID=51766&CFTOKEN=2131730

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