Revolve - the New Testament as teen mag.

In an effort to brainwash , er sorry , reach teenage girls who might be "embarrassed to carry a black leather tome around" Thomas Nelson Bibles gives the bible a Cosmo-style makeover complete with beauty tips and love advice, The Magazine New Testament Revolve has launched:

"How do you tell a friend that's your crush that you're into him without ruining your friendship?"

Revolve answers: "You don't. Sorry. … God made guys to be the leaders. That means that they lead in relationships."

Really? That's the answer?

There are also tips on prayer, volunteerism, and calendars with entries, such as "Pray for a person of influence: Today is Michael Jordan's birthday" on Feb. 17. from abc news.

One beauty secret is for "Spiritual Facials." "The fire of God's love burns out the sin the same way the hot steam routs the dirt out of your pores. This kind of relationship with God will do more to improve your looks than any amount of facials," it reads.

"We haven't really done anything to change the message of the Bible," says Whaley.
"We've just changed the format so it is in a medium these girls are more familiar with." NY Post "A lot of times, we've put the word 'teen' on something and thought that would be enough," she said.
"Even kids who come from a Christian subculture are very media-savvy." from Bayarea

Don't pout boys, another one is planned in the next year - writer Crumm had to ask: "You mean like we're going to see 'The Bible: The Swimsuit Edition'?"

bonus! there's a Revolve ad video windows media or realplayer under that link.

Adland® is supported by your donations alone. You can help us out by buying us a Ko-Fi coffee.
Anonymous Adgrunt's picture
Files must be less than 1 MB.
Allowed file types: jpg jpeg gif png wav avi mpeg mpg mov rm flv wmv 3gp mp4 m4v.
Holger Wilcks's picture

For a moment there I thought, I was reading The Onion ...

Dabitch's picture

hahaha. ;)

What Clayton said on adlist must go here: "Speaking of New Testament, check out the Jesus Christ's Apple Switch testimonial..."

Robblink's picture

Hmmmm.....would advertisers have to customize their ads to make their product more relevant to the Revolve's religious readers?

Oxy 10 - Cleans pores and washes sins away.
Nike - Just pray.
Vanilla Coke - Reward your Christianity.
Ford - If you haven't looked at Jesus lately....look again.
Nokia - Connecting parishioners.

Dabitch's picture

It's on MetaFilter too - best comment? Perhaps "
But is it eXtreme!!!!!!!!!??
- heheh.

caffeinegoddess's picture

The anti-Cosmo cometh!

anonymous's picture

wow . . . makes me glad to be Jewish.

Dabitch's picture

You must be a reformist if you don't use the morning blessings that thanks God "for not making me a woman." ;)

anonymous's picture

It is a wonderful thing to have the Hebrew heritage and you should be glad...however that does not mean you could not know Jesus as your Lord and Savior. However, this particular "christian" book or magazine is not the best (or even close to the best)
intoduction to the person of Jesus Christ or His Gospels. If anything, your response proves its failure as a tool of outreach and witness. Jesus never did and still does not seek to trick or seduce anyone to Him. The Bible(old and new testament) is like a really great stands on its need for ketchup or hot sauce. One day you might want to try reading the original recipe without the sugar and spice thrown in...Believe'll never taste anything better!

Dabitch's picture

what the....?

anonymous's picture

Give me a break.
I'm not the original Jewish poster, but Jewish all the same.
Christianity doesn't appeal to Jews and neither does Jesus as a "lord and savior" because the KEY difference between Judaism and Christianity is that Jews don't think Jesus was the Messiah. Once a Jew hops to the other side of the fence... they are Christians (Yes, Jews for Jesus are a bunch of delusional Christian converts ). As for the this magazine reaching ANYONE - Those with half a brain would cringe.

Re: the original bible: Some good stories, nice little text book of 2000-5000 year old morality. I've read much more interesting - and better written texts.

But thanks for trying to spread the word, I'm sure you're just THAT MUCH CLOSER to heaven now. Enjoy your white robe, wings, and harp.

Dabitch's picture


Harps are so last millenium.
Our gods are Bernbach and Lois.

anonymous's picture

Firstly, the magaizen isn't ment as a "witness" to the non-christian. It's ment as a christian alternative for the teen girl, and that is how is it being marketed. It is ment to show how to apply God's morals and standards in todays world (which it backs up with biblical refrences).

Secondly, there is no fact which contradicts the bible. There are theories such as evolution which have scientific evidence (see ). It takes far more faith to believe in evolution than to believe in the bible.

Thirdly, as a Jew, I challenge you to look into the evidence of Jesus as the messiah. "A Case for Christ" gives a good summary of the evidence of Jesus' life from an archeological/historical stand point. Look into the profecies, Isaiah 53 is a good start.

Also, I ask you how you are going to get to heaven? The Torrah (old testiment) teaches that sacrifices need to be made to cover the sins. For Christians that changed with Jesus as the last sacrifice;however, for Jews that changed when the temple was destroyed in Jerusalem in 70 AD. So again, how do you atone for your sins?

All I'm asking you to do is look.

anonymous's picture

Whatever- Im christian and think this would be a good idea but this goes way over the edge. The bible was written as a guideline a long time ago and I doubt you (or anyone) is able to follow it word for word literally. The impowered women were part of that time- not anymore. Just like the parts of the bible talking about widows becoming their brothers slave... (just a small example)

anonymous's picture

heck! Jesus Christ, the best lover and friend that I've ever known (ok, go ahead and argue with that because I know it sounds crazy). Not some dead guy thousands of years ago, but very much alive, and a great guy to get to know. Read the book of John in the Bible. The ultimate counter-culture movement: a movement of people being like Jesus. I haven't just heard about this Jesus, and accepted a system of beliefs. I have experienced Him as a living person. So I beg Him...He promises you'll find Him.

anonymous's picture

Come on, man. If you call yourself a Christian, at least be like Christ. Perfectly holy and pure, doing only what love commands. The Old Testament -- Jesus has fulfilled the law, so we no longer have to follow the letter of it (that's like the widow-slave thing). The New Testament -- God says to "be holy as I am holy". He wouldn't ask it if it weren't possible. Difficult - yes. We have to "die daily" in the words of Paul. Jesus said to be saved you must "deny yourself" and follow Him. Will we fail in our attempts? Of course. Is God forgiving and loving? Definitely. Please, seek God. Seek holiness and purity. You will find Him.

AnonymousCoward's picture

Uhhh...What just happened???