Jörgen och Jonny svarar.

If you aren't a Stockholm Adgrunt, you may never have heard of Jörgen and Jonny the boys behind the Jarowskij weekly newsletter - and thus you have missed many a good laugh. I tracked down the elusive duo and asked them a series of dumb questions....

Dabitch: When will Jörgen and Jonny walk the road of so many other sarcastic commentators - and become bland boring and predicable - how will they renew themselves.. - in other words - got a plan?

J&J: Well we'd like to take this opportunity to quote an old icon of ours, Dennis Franz: "Renewal WAS great while it lasted, let's face it, but hey! It's not like we plan to start writing in braille just for the sake of it. Right now we are inventing ourselves every week, and as long as we can achieve this we intend to prevail. Now, if you'll excuse us, we feel the urgent need of something falaffel-oriented."

(20 minutes later. Jörgen & Jonny return)

God, the odour of onion is really unbearable, right?

Dabitch: God, yeah! Right, *waves odour of onionburp away with hand* are there any plans of merchandising? ;)

J&J: Sure! Hell yeah! Gosh, yes! Indeed! Why not? Does the pope wear a silly hat?

Dabitch: (Oh no, you're not going to sell silly hats are ya..) Where do you get everything from!? :)

J&J: From the unbearable lightness of being, naturally. We've chosen to call our method "Fiction with friction" i.e. "A lot of stuff we just make up while intoxicated" (man, if you just DOWN two gallons of Pepto Bismol you'll be SO crispy and good for dancing).

Dabitch: Do you guys have an army of spies on the town? are they in any way recognisable so we know when to keep our mouths shut? ;)

J&J: It's the same old system, dude! Edwin Moses had his coach, Ted Danson had his black wife, we have our loyal informers; friends, associates and the odd scientologist, who for some reason start every Friday reading our letter (straight up!). And no, you wouldn't recognize them they are all midgets. Who came up with these questions Jolly Roger?

Dabitch: Where is Jörgen & jonny's favorite hangout? (kuggfråga!)

J&J: It's a place called Naglo close to the Opera in Stockholm. We've been there at least twice, but the mayor of Stockholm tends to show up there a lot, always wearing Henri Lloyd jackets and looking for an angry fix, though ususally ending up eating bloated pears.

Dabitch: What does Jörgen & jonny mums believe that their sons do for a living? J&J: Luckily our mothers are in Beirut.

Dabitch: What does Jörgen & Jonny wish for most of all right this moment?

J&J: Thanks for asking that! We'd very much like to be Jewish again. and - for your listening pleasure, a snippet from this Friday's newsletter, available at jarowskij.se.

Veckans "spanarna": Jaha, det släpps skivor igen. I år går trenden mot enkla, okonstlade titlar. Britney Spears släpper "Britney", Lenny Kravitz släpper "Lenny", Lambretta släpper "Lambretta". Nu skvallras det på Mynttorget att Erik Penser i fortsättningen bara ska kalla sig Erik.

Veckans exportvara: Jörgen & Jonny har känningar i branschen (veckans branschnyhet i sig?) och kan nu avslöja att Meral Tasbas inte bara är praktikant på Strix under arbetet med Baren, hon går dessutom i väntans tider. Inom ett par veckor kommer hon att få svar på om hennes ansökan till den turkiska versionen av Baren har fallit i god jord. I så fall hoppar hon på ett plan ASAP och lämnar Johan Pråmell och de andra Strixarna i sticker.

Veckans "Lever han? Kul!": Utanför Sturegallerian, måndag 12:55. Mauro Scocco lämnar köpcentrat. Han ser... bra ut. Brunbränd. Utan Beppemössa. Men han går förbi en uteliggare med en självklarhet som bara en riktigt rik människa kan göra.